I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-
You fucking champ
I wish there was a way to kill yourself and see how everyone who you knew reacts, and then depending on that choose whether to stay dead or not. If that were the case I’d kill myself right this second.
Imagine having rough sex on a waterbed and it breaks and your partner and you drown and die happily knowing you died having sex
He puts the book between his teeth, but he doesn’t give it the power to make him cry.
Make John Green find the thing.